Imagine knowing that your forthcoming year was going to be hellish. No surprises; it's there laid out for you to see. An over-hanging sense of dread that creeps into your mind when you're undistracted. Constant almost. Like a mayoral chain fastened from leaded shit; paraded around in a paranoid state.
I knew 2012 was going to be possibly my most difficult year yet since it's incarnation. For legal reasons, yes legal reasons, I am unable to talk about things that happened to me, and then subsequently things that were done to me out of my control. All this occurred during November, since then life has been a collection of uncertainties with my usual focus being completely blurred.
It's horrid. I can't see.
...But in the meantime, we battle on, roll with the punches, try to survive, (move to Estonia, move back from Estonia)...take every day as it comes and try to ascertain some form of control when everything - in your reality - is chaos. You feel the world is conspiring against you, and your spine folds with the weight of the heaviest breath.
This year will be hell. So rack up the cheesecake and fuck me senseless.
TBC.
Hiya Vic,
ReplyDeleteListening to you over the last fortnight, I can imagine people wouldn't realise that you were going through the hell that you have described over the past 12 or so months. I hope it's been at least a small release to have something as good as Beatwolf to have some focus on with all that crap flying around in your 'normal' life. The shows with you and Jo have been a bloody joy to listen to and very long may they continue.
There's a lot of love out there for you in radio-listener land, hope there's a bright light at the end of the tunnel as the year progresses.
nah, it'll be reet
ReplyDelete