Faith, The Lone Wolf, and the Marmite Indifference.

I know I'm a bit nuts. I don't mind, in fact I like this about myself. I like the fact I don't seem to conform; that I *think* I see things differently. That's the thing about maturity - you give less of a toss about what people think of you. Now, I will not allow myself to be oppressed by normalcy. I will not be swayed by popular opinion. Just because what I believe is right doesn't mean it is right. I'll just do my own thing, thanks. If you don't like me, don't worry, I don't subscribe to universal approval; You crack on, love. 

I have a new friend.

I liked her straight away. 

Let's call her The Firecracker, and you can make your own image. 

I felt an instant connection to her, in fact she bowled me over with her intensity when we first met, but I could sense an innate goodness about her that didn't make me file her in the 'Whoa There!' cabinet. Fortunately I've been proved right; she's a solid good egg. She's ace.

Slightly younger than me, and newly single, The 'Cracker is naturally addressing and dissecting the 'what-went-wrongs' of her past relationship in order to conclude the lesson. BUT one striking comment she made, that got a rise out of me, was that she felt her poor record in love was her personality/attitude. I up-ended the table there and then (in my mind). Again, she's ace.

The thing is, I'd had this very conversation with myself but 2 months ago. I'm sure many of us - as singletons - have looked in the mirror and thought "What is WRONG with me?". "Why aren't people tripping over themselves to bag a piece of this tasty carcass?", and on special occasions, "I'm so fucking lonely!!!".

And what does your average independent, assertive 36 year old do in the circumstances? They email their Mam of course:

Vic McGlynn <vixmcglynn@googlemail.com> to Avril Helloooo Mummington                                                                                                        Got a bit of time off this week, looking forward to sorting out a few things in the move. But I’m feeling a bit down that there’s something wrong with me  that I can’t attract a man. I don’t think my new BBC Sheffield picture has  helped me feel good – it’s horrible. But I just don’t know what it is about me..? Anyway, time to put a smile on. Let me know what you’ve been up to. X ------------------------------------------------------------ avril*******@gmail.com to me I knew you were down, after all the excitement and effort of moving etc it's  only to be expected. You are looking through critical eyes at present. You  are very attractive, and your eyes are beautiful. I think the man who will be  attracted to you will be looking for someone very different. In the same way  as you won't want a boring bloke. You are quite a challenge, most blokes  want someone they can feel just a bit more superior to, no chance of that  with you. You want someone who is an equal to you, so that you can bounce  off each other, have intellectual chats and a laugh. You know all this but if he  has to be special to be right he's worth waiting for.  As you say slap on a smile and keep going. Love you so much and want you  to find someone special, just like you. Take care of yourself, Mum XXXXX Sent from my iPad --------------------------------------------------------- Vic McGlynn <vixmcglynn@googlemail.com> to Avril That was a lovely and much needed and enjoyed message. Love you Mum x ---------------------------------------------------------

Shortly thereafter I met someone under rather unorthodox circumstances, and to be fair to that person/victim, I'm going to keep it as vague as possible. 

(cue dry ice) 

Though a brief meeting, there was something to this chap I liked. Perhaps I felt a connection? A mirroring? I did find him attractive; there was an internal, I-think-you-might-be-ace resonance that I *felt* exceeded the connection I apply to friendly acquaintances; you know, the stuff surpassing a light friendship that triggers YES I could possibly be thinking about being willing to perhaps handle your fluids. But more importantly I was very aware of my attitude at the time, and that I felt I could be myself. As crazy, as loud, as opinionated as that *can* be, young Firecracker. And this fella didn't seem perturbed.............

Our meeting gave me faith.

I'm about to talk about pedestrian feminism - Brace! Brace!

I'm gifted with some amazing best friends. One is Nick, who is not only funny, but also incredibly insightful and wise. Thankfully he offers up a token male perspective with regards to the said dilemma I had. I offered that wimmin are still expected to be passive, or a lesser intellectual companion to aid their male counterpart in not only archetypal paternal dominance, but also to aid their need to be 'protectors'. Welllllllll, he called me out straight away, yelling about 'female castrates' and how he preferred his relations with the laydees to be cerebrally challenging and rife with assertion. 

Ok, ok I get it, you like a strong woman. Oh, yes, of course, that's why we're friends. Well, he is ace.

We are all ace. Even the shits. Because someone, somewhere will think so. Keep the faith. Be open to the fact that you are great - for all your freakish foibles - and when you see a special greatness in someone else reflecting right back at you, that's when the magic might happen...  

(Excuse me, I need to dial-a-cliché...)

Jon Brion - Here We Go

You've gotta hope that there's someone for you

As strange as you are

Who can cope with the things that you do

Without trying too hard

Because you can bend the truth

Until it's soothing you

These things that you're wrapping all around you

You never know what they will amount to

And your life is just going on without you

It's the end of the things you know

Here we go

You've gotta know that there's more to this world

Than what you have seen

Because we all have a limited view of what we can be

As we move along

With our blinders on

Each one of us feels a little stranded

And you can't explain or understand it

Each one of us on a different planet

And admist all the to and fro

Someone can say "Hello,

Here we go"

The feeling that someone really gets you

It's something that no one should object to

It could happen today so I suggest you

Skip your habit of laying low

It's the end of the things you know

Here we go

I met a woman who didn't wear shoes...

(There is further academic reading you may wish to view below).

Hullo.

Please note that the theories I present are birthed from evidence-in-practice, chatting to infinitely clever trousered types - with letters - than myself, work-in-progress observations and common - fucking - sense. I am not a scientist but I am equipped with logic, curiosity and - perhaps paradoxically - a wonderment and appreciation of the esoteric.

Let us begin...

Dementia and Alzheimer's, they say, is on the increase. It is. Statistics for how many of us will be effected by 2050 are terrifying. On the plus side, the Daily Mail have their top story sorted for the next 36 years. What a relief.

Dementia - well, it's just the aging process isn't it? Let's just draw a line under that and let people's loved ones dissolve into the 'living death' in front of their eyes; robbing them and loved ones of their memories, their purpose, their 'being'.

Well no actually, I'm not really down with that retired defeat especially when I (and you) can see obvious opportunities to reverse signs of dementia that we can apply to our lives NOW.

I don't know how you feel about pharmaceutical companies, but for the most part I find them to be opportunistic vultures keen on sedating a problem (plugging a dam with a finger) rather than allowing practical therapies to reign; particularly within mental health - because they're all about the dollar dollar bill ya'll. Helping people?! Pffffffft. Let's not be naive.

But guess what Glaxo-bastards? We already have the power to heal ourselves through common sense and a pinch of the primitive. And you can't own it, you leeches. Ha. In your (tested-on-animals) faces!

Work is hard isn't it? Dependent on role, naturally, but for the purpose of this argument, let's look at a sedentary role, or a habitual action...doing the same task(s) over and over again. Initially this might have been a challenge with frontal lobe growth inevitable whilst learning the new, but now learnt, and autonomous; where's the challenge in that?!

Let's now include prolonged mental stress, perhaps in an occupational sense (overworked/underpaid normality) or lengthy emotional strain - could this contribute to a metaphorical RSI of the brain? Well yes, it does. Them lot have proved it.

A habitually functioning brain is likely to be strong in parts, overused in areas, weak and neglected in others. Ah well, nevermind, retirement isn't long off, and then I can do nothing............

Nothing.

We all know brain training is proven to be beneficial not only to the young but also the Countdown brigade, in fact scrap that, it's fundamentally beneficial to all isn't it? Because learning is fun isn't it? Challenging our - constantly evolving - perceptions aids us in developing broadminded and newly informed approaches and responses. We should do that, that sounds bloody marvellous.

Listening to music is fantastic isn't it? All of it. Challenging, soothing, mood altering - and not only is it the most responsive and favoured form of therapy, it's proven to exercise ALL the brain. We've all seen the clips of the old fella with Dementia listening to his old time favourites? For a period his clarity is restored; his thoughts and language coherent. Yep, that, that's how powerful that stuff is! We should listen to that loads!

Exercise is good isn't it? Not only does it keep us fit but also reduces anxiety and allows us to organise our thoughts. We should mix it up as well, so we're exercising different parts of our body and brain. We should definitely do that a lot. And dancing! It's amazing isn't it? It enables us to live in the moment; carefree, experiencing lightness and spontaneity. Dancing - we should never stop doing that, and even if we don't think we can dance, we should definitely do it on the sly. Yes, that's a triffic idea.

Eating right is good isn't it? All those nutrients. Yum. Processed foods are well shady aren't they? I mean, just what the bejesus is in some of those synthetic sugary treats that in no way are contributing to obesity and cancer and chronic sads........we should definitely eat as close to nature intended as possible. Yes, that's a great idea.

Nature is wonderful isn't it? Being in it, meditating within it, enjoying the tranquility, exploration and the inspiration of worldly delights that are bigger than ourselves; a roofless space of infinite growth we take for granted. Yes, let's do that. And it's e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e.

...But let's go one step further, let's do it barefoot!

-"You're fuckin mad you! Why aren't you wearing shoes?!".


-"Erm, well it helps me feel grounded to the earth. It also keeps me sharp as I have many different types of terrain to handle. I am forced to live in the moment when I walk. It's quite good, you should try it".

-"Weirdo".


This was a conversation I had, where I momentarily took the stance of a conditioned Western society in judging this 'eccentric'. My actual response was:

-"Yeah, good point (weirdo)".

See here for information on the importance of 'grounding'.

What many of us forget is the unexplainable - the spirit, our spirit, the God in us: the thing that exudes from your face when experiencing joy, the stuff that shoots into your fingers when you're touching something pleasing, the warmth of heart when you encounter delight, the shine you radiate when revelling in the child-like. This unquantifiable substance you can't bottle, nor commercialise, but you can find it, seek it, and enjoy it all in the simplest of ways, you just have to allow and remind yourself of its importance regardless if it might make you a weirdo. Because without the spirit, too many doors stay closed and contain nothing.

Faith, spirit and openness is the magical fluid that keeps everything else afloat and 'lubricated'.

So kick off your shoes, mix it up, open your doors, and keep on keeping on!





Further reading:

The inspirational Barbara Arrowsmith Young

Alzheimer's reversal success

You are what you eat

Thank you to Dr. Garuth Chalfont