Chittering Shat

What lame arsed line did you just say?

To try and catch me for seedy play?

"Do you think he'll spin some Jagger and Keef'?"

He did, just then, you dribblin queef.

I know you think I'm easy game,

I've seen so much, I'm tried of the same.

To talk to girls in bars is cheap,

Come on man, you're just a creep.

Your breath it smells of desperation,

The beef? I'm guessing perspiration.

But I 'spose you have some kind of balls,

To rally lines and hope they'll fall.

But back up fella, this girl is taken,

Even in fiction my boyfriend fakin',

It's a shame your eyes are blurred with ale,

As this is obviously a fucking fail. 

So piss off will ya' and give me a break,

I only came here to move and shake.

Why not try the girl to my left,

She's drunk so much, dignity bereft.

That whiff of vomit in her lap,

Her fella left her, with water on tap. 

If you're looking for some easy meat, 

Then sit in the gutter, it's in the street.

Or go and find some sweaty sauce,

I'm talking Shish Kebab of course.

So let this be a lesson to all triers,

A girl with respect doesn't need a buyer,

For closed bids only is what I'm after,

And most of all bring me the laughter.